It’s appraisal time again.

In my last job, it was called PDP — professional development something. Appraisal, PDP, performance review — those of us in corporate jobs will all know what these words mean.

Once a year, you sit with your manager to talk about your performance last year. You set objectives for next year. These objectives then become the criteria against which you are appraised the following year. This is also the opportunity to bring up your aspirations for further training, overseas postings, and career path.

I think this is my fifth performance appraisal. I usually enjoy doing it. I am naturally self-reflective and I have been lucky to always have had managers who have trusted me with responsibility. It is then easy to demonstrate my competence when appraisal time comes around.

This weekend, I began preparing my appraisal report. I found that I am not enjoying it like I used to.

I have not completely met last year’s performance objectives. Partly, it’s because my job took a different turn this year. Partly, also, I was in the middle of three initiatives that were disrupted (permanently?) by the redundancies of my collaborators.

It’s also becoming difficult to think of what I want to achieve next year. My role has moved beyond my job description. I suspect that my career will be whatever I decide to make it. There is no longer a defined path and as I look around me, there isn’t an obvious person that I should be modelling.

This freedom (and murkiness) should be exciting and ultimately rewarding.

Well, I believe it will be. However, first I need to get through the brain-hurting exercise of thinking through and spelling out my career development goals for next year.