My thoughts fit into my head comfortably. I’ve had nothing but Joan thoughts for days, maybe weeks. They’re all the same shape, they sound the same, they use the same words. They’re familiar, they don’t challenge me and I’m sick of them the way that one is sick of eating the same food every day.
I had a great day today. I wrote 2,500 words. I went for a walk at the cemetery. While I was there, I realised that the reason I felt so uninspired was because my brain is full of Joan-shaped thoughts, which I forced myself to pursue to wretchedness.
Someone once described to me what it is like when he meditates. It isn’t that his mind is empty. He lets his thoughts enter as usual. The difference is that he watches them drift by without following them. There is no need to follow thoughts. They can come in and leave as they want.
Di told me about a woman who would spill a bowl of rice grains on the floor. She then uses a pair of chopsticks to pick up the grains one at a time. When the bowl was full again, she pours the rice out and starts again.
In the corner of the cemetery, there is a little stone house. I thought a priest lived there because it looked like a miniature church. The house was open today and I went in. It turns out that it is the home and studio of an artist. While I was there, about ten other people came in to look at her prints and sculptures. The patterns in her work helped me not follow my thoughts.
It was nice to get a rest from thinking.
Oh, I wish there was such a mysterious cemetery here where we just moved! Or that I could teleport myself to Mill Road right on the spot…
Mmhh, yes, I like that cemetery as well.
What I really like best about your “About Me” text is that you don’t like travelling. I’m not sure why, because I actually quite enjoy travelling…
I quite like travelling for business. I like planes. I like planning. I like getting there.
I don’t like having to decide what to do. I get afraid that people won’t understand me, that I’ll miss a train, that I’ll get lost. I get anxious when I don’t know what’s happening.
The only thing about travelling that makes me happy is doing fun stuff with friends. And I can do that at home. So the benefits of travelling do not make up for the negatives in my book.
I know I’m strange like that. Everyone else likes travelling. I feel guilty for not liking it. I wish I liked it. I think that good people are curious about the world.
Your explanation is really amusing! 😀
No, I seriously think it’s great you don’t like travelling. Anyway, all the best for your grand fate-deciding appearance tomorrow!
Joan shaped thoughts… i guess Dan shaped thoughts fill my head too.. although a lot of them don’t bear mentioning really, the sort of thing that only i find interesting.. Meditating is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but, I find it much easier when it is done as part of yoga practice.. maybe you could give that a try? or just go and seek out un joan-shaped-thoughts..