I don’t have time for this

My old worries have come back with a vengeance.

For my previous Negotiation subject, I had to pick a conflict I wanted to deal with. I chose to negotiate with my boss to get the company to pay for my next subject. I did well out of it — the company agreed to pay for half the course fees and 2.5 days training time.

One of the things I agreed to do in return is to write my assessment piece (3000 word paper) for the client that I’m currently working for in Shepparton. I was happy to do this; there are some good disputes to write about here. The trick was making sure the paper would be useful to the client and also meet the academic requirements of my university.

Everything was a bit more urgent, though. The paper is due in October. I wanted to submit it by mid-September before I go to England.

Being the good girl that I am, I started scoping the paper out early. I spoke to the client. I consulted with the lecturer by phone and in person. I drafted a proposal for my company.

Then, as I was filling out the research proposal for the university, I saw a tickbox that asked, ‘Does this research require ethics committee approval?’

What’s ethics committee approval?

My lecturer told me that you need ethics committee approval if you’re going to get information from people for your research. I was going to interview my client, of course.

“Erm. It sounds like you’re going to need ethics committee approval, Joan,” he said.

“Okay… How long does that take?”

“Quite a long time, I think.”

Crap.

“If it’s about two weeks, I’ll wait for it,” I said. “If it’s any longer, I have to think seriously about changing my topic and reneging on my deal with my company and the client.”

“Let me check with our department’s representative on the ethics committee.”

And while that was happening, I emailed my college at Cambridge to find out why, with only 1.5 months to go, they still hadn’t made me a room offer. I needed somewhere to live.

Dear Joan,

Thank you for your email.

We are just awaiting confirmation from the Board of Graduate Studies before being able to confirm your offer and therefore allocate accommodation.

Oh no…

The Board of Graduate Studies won’t enrol me until they get a letter from my current university to say that I have finished all my assessment. Until I submit that final essay, I won’t be officially enrolled and I won’t have a place to live.

My current uni lecturer emailed me back to say that the ethics committee say that it usually takes four weeks for research applications to get approved or knocked back.

AAAAAAAAARRRRGH!

I don’t bloody have time for this!

WAAAAH!

I feel even worse because I have to break promises to lots of people.

And now I have to work like a demon to get all my assessment done. I don’t want to fly to England without being enrolled at university or college.

5 comments

  1. Rohan says:

    Surely your scholarship could just be pushed back 6 months or so?

    You might not like to do so but it is certainly better than death by stress-induced bulging head syndrome.

  2. joanium says:

    Hi Rohan. My MPhil is based on coursework and all the students start together in October. I’d have to defer by a year. Cambridge doesn’t actually allow deferral. You have to reapply (although, the odds of getting back in are very good).

    I think I’ll just have to knuckle down and be hermit-like for a while.

    At least you’ll see me in cyberspace!

  3. Winza says:

    Yep. I exactly understand the situation you’re in right now.

    Good luck with it all. I am sure you can handle this.

    Cheers,
    Winza

  4. Anonymous says:

    You should be able to get expedited approval for such a small project, if you are only interviewing a couple of people at the client company. Ring up the ethics office and explain the situation; they are usually quite nice if you go in with an attitude of wanting to do the right thing.
    Good luck!

    Jess.

  5. Anonymous says:

    It is better to beg for forgiveness than ask for approval.

    Understand the real politics of ethics committees. They are a political parasite on research. University councils permit the parasitisation because (a) they get their friends to serve on them and (b) the formation of the ethics committee is usually in response to a political fire a type of post active ass-covering.

    What the university wants is no political flak. If your project isn’t going to generate any, there’s no need to goto the ethics committee. The committee however wants to maximise it’s power and ensure its funding. So what does it do? It try’s to get its claws on as much research as possible.
    By doing the “right” thing, you might have awakened this monster which now will be reluctant to let you go, since you are its food.

    You shouldn’t have approached it in the first place. If it hasn’t recognised you yet, run.

    Otherwise, knowing that everyone understands that these committees are a wank and your work is certain to be approved, just do the research before you get the approval.

    If these committees were allowed to persue their natural desires, they would take an infinite amount of time and control your very breath. The only reason they do not is that people push them back, undermine them and call them out. Through the destructive effects of these committees millions of lives are lost every year in disease prevention alone (for one is never censured for the good act that is never done). Hence it is our duty, our obligation and our right to undermine, confuse and marginalise these committees whenever we interact with them. Save lives Joan. Undermine research parasites today.

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