I’m distressed at the moment because I’m having trouble making a decision. I’m aching with indecision. The arguments are so finely balanced that I change my mind from minute to minute.

I am studying a Graduate Certificate. I have one subject left. I intended to finish it before I left for Cambridge but I’ve started to think this will be a bad idea. I’m still working on an essay for my previous subject and it’s taking up all my nights. I would really like to have my nights free in August and September so that I can pack up my life in Australia and say goodbye to my friends and family. My fear is that instead of doing that, I’ll be sitting in front of a computer.

“Let’s have some goodbye drinks for Joan!” they would say.

“Sorry, guys. I have to go home and write my essays.” The essays are thousands of words.

It’s even worse because I’m working from Shepparton. It’s been hard for me to look after myself in Shepparton and do my homework. My homework has been getting done over the weekend. That means no weekends for Joan leading up to going away.

AAARGH. THE AGONY.

Cambridge has made it a condition on my enrolment that I finish my Certificate. I’m almost certain that they would let me defer my studies if I asked. In fact, I have asked via email but I got a auto response vacation message.

I’ve also put a lot of effort in negotiating with my company to pay for half my subject costs. This funding would be lost if I decided not to do the subject this year.

Another very important issue is that I would have to take five days off to go to class. This pains me because it would take me away from my work in Shepparton. I already have to wind up my work in Shepparton early so that I can pack up my life. Do you mean I have to take even more time off?

WAAAH. It hurts!

I think of the hassle that I have to go through to do the subject: I have to do pre-reading and submit training request forms and a leave application form.

Then I think, “Maybe it won’t be so hard to study in the months leading up to going way. Maybe I’m exaggerating it all in my head. I’ve already scoped out a good research paper topic and will be writing the paper for the client. This is a great chance to make a good impression.”

YAAAAAARGH. I’ve changed my mind again!!!!!!!!!

In other news, I was headhunted today. Someone from another engineering consultancy called me and asked to meet up for coffee. We did and he said that if I was interested, his company would make me an offer. This was despite knowing that I was going to England in September.