A woman at work here was asked to help me with a project. It’s a project that has been giving me grief. I sense a week or two coming up where I will be slaving away at a computer to get the report out.

She’s come up to help me and I wish I could use her help but at the moment, I have everything, everything, under control. So thanks, but no thanks, not right now. But I didn’t say that, you see. I said, “Mmm, that’s good. Here’s what the project’s about. I’ll need your help when the data comes in. I’m also going to Brisbane in a week so you can champion the project then.” (“Champion” is corporate-speak for “progress” (verb), which is corporate speak for “do”.)

And she’s still trying to be helpful and I honestly don’t know what to do with her. I answer her questions, make encouraging noises but inside I’m thinking, “Please don’t spend too much time on this project yet. I don’t know how the budget is going!”

Look! She’s come back from lunch and, hesitant, has asked, “Joan, are you okay if I work on this project too? I’m not going to take over or anything.”

“Oh!” Somewhat flummoxed. “No, of course you’re not going to take over. You’re being helpful. No, I’m just waiting for more information to come back then we can get stuck into it.”

“Okay,” (looking uncertain) “I just wanted to make sure you were okay with it.”

I felt bad because despite my efforts, I must have been giving out “You’re annoying, go away” vibes.

This has caught me a few times in the past too. Here I am, thinking that I’m doing a good job of hiding my feelings, yet they seem to leak out and affect other people. People can tell. Either I’m not very good at pretending or people just understand human nature.

Edit 1:46PM: I sent her an email explaining what I’ve written here. It made me feel better.