Disaster! We’ve almost run out of scrap paper. I thought it’d never happen but I’ve reached the bottom of the pile, written all over the back of my Year 9 Social Sciences worksheets. Will I endure until the pile is replenished during the Annual Work Filing Festival?

Until then, I am eager to accept all donations of unwanted single-sided scrap paper. Eligible donations include:

• A4 office paper (60 gsm and above)
  

• Large envelopes
  

• Ruled paper
  

• Thick card of all sizes
  

• Personal correspondence that should not on any terms be revealed to anyone else

As you may know, I am not eating any junk food at the moment. I took a broad definition of “junk food”. Basically, it includes anything that is subject to the disapproval of more than 30% of society. So I did without coffee for two days. It was not good. I was sleepy, moody and listless. Study was inefficient.

For the good of my final semester marks, I’ve given in to a mug of morning coffee this morning. I will wean myself off the drug after Thursday.