A friend has just confessed to me that she and another friend of ours have been unofficially “together” for the last month. Damjan knew about it too!
I can’t say the news took me by surprise. Just these couple of days, I was suspecting that she at least had a crush on him. He kept cropping up in our conversations. He was invited to join our “food group” for the ski trip at her request. I could see no particularly strong connection between us and him compared to other people. So I figured something was up. She also said that he had asked her to download a file for him. Why her out of all his friends? They didn’t even know each other that well (supposedly). Also, she went over to his house to get music for our Dinner Dance music organising session.
So she finally ‘fessed up with only the mildest of proddings from me. She had been planning to tell me anyway because she wanted my opinion about why The Boy was behaving erratically.
“Joan, do you get jealous when Damjan talks about spending time with other girls?”
I answered immediately. “Yes. I think everyone does. It all depends on you react to it. I know that I shouldn’t take it seriously so I try to dismiss it. For example, I feel a bit envious when you go to Dizzy’s with him for jam sessions – It’s nothing personal. I get over it pretty quickly.”
My friend wanted to know why The Boy was grumpy whenever she mentioned Damjan. She and Damjan talk quite a bit (oooh, twinge of jealousy! immediately quashed…just kidding 🙂 so of course he would pop up in her conversations with The Boy.
We concluded that The Boy’s grumpiness was due to the natural pangs of jealousy compounded by the fact that their relationship wasn’t “official” yet. When things aren’t cemented, I suppose people are even more prone to jealousy because everything is more threatening. The relationship is fragile.
By this theory, jealousy should dwindle away once you are confident in a relationship. That seems about right to me.
Ah, jealously, an emotion of pure evil!!! I guess I’m just lucky, I didn’t have too much trouble coming to terms with my tomboy-ish Asri having mostly male friends 🙂 Although maybe I get a tiny bit jealous every now and again… 🙁
rohan
Wait a second — this story sounds familiar! Joan never finished this episode. The Girl ended up being turned down when she pressed for an “official” answer. Apparently, having been scarred in a previous relationship, The Boy was not intending to start another one for quite a while yet.
After much counselling from very good friends, The Girl was well on her way to getting over the whole thing, despite having enough teenage angst to write an Avril Lavigne-esque song.
However, it doesn’t end there. The ski trip following further compounded matters. The Boy declares on the first night to The Girl that she was “making him change his mind” and asked whether she “still wants to go out with him”. She refuses to give a straight answer, unsure of his sincerity and unwilling to become vulnerable again so quickly.
Determined to get things straight for once and for all, The Girl writes and email to The Boy as soon as she got home from the trip, asking for a definite answer. She’s tired of being confused.
An answer has not yet been received. She suspects it will come either in the form of a phone call or a face-to-face conversation. And so the melodramatic saga continues… (The Girl needs to start her own blog or something)
lildrummergal