On Friday, I went to the bank to see if my cheque had been cashed. As you know, things were getting desperate.
“Hello! Can you please check if I can get money from a cheque I deposited on Monday?”
The lady at the cashier looked on the computer. “It says the money is in your account now but…” She paused and started counting on her fingers, muttering, “Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday…” She looked up. “We recommend you wait six days before you withdraw proceeds of a cheque. It’s been five days. You can get the money on Monday…” She trailed off as I looked at her incredulously.
The bank recommends I wait five days? She’s doing me a favour by making me wait to get my money?
The lady could hear how silly her statement was. “You could withdraw the money using your cashcard at the ATM over there.”
“I opened the account two weeks ago and you haven’t sent me the details yet. I don’t have a cashcard.”
She looked apologetic.
I decided to play the pity card. “Is there some way, any way, I can get money today? I’ve only got £5 in my wallet now.”
“Let me check with the manager,” she said. I handed over my ID cards and she took them with her into a back room.
Three minutes later, she came out with a key and a smile. “How much money would you like?”
Success!