This is interesting: the 2006 Public Transport Challenge. It would have been useful when I was in high school. The first time I took the train by myself was at the end of first year uni, when I got a job based in the city. I remember asking strangers in the CBD where Spencer Street station was.

Hehe. It’s now Southern Cross Station.

I was thinking about this a few days ago. When I have kids, I’ll be able to say things such as:

Back in my day, we had tapes, then CDs. iPods came much later. Actually, and I’m showing my real age here, my first single was a record of It’s a Small World After All.

I remember when the internet was just getting popular. I was one of the first kids with an e-mail address. I used to be afraid of submitting anything on the World Wide Web so for a long time, I would just look at webpages. I was afraid that I would break something!

When mobile phones just came out, they were huge. We used to call them ‘bricks’. They were even bigger than the landline phones you had at home.

My cousin spent almost $1000 on the very first ever Playstation! What are they up to now, Playstation 11, right?

Do you know why the main hard drive is usually called ‘C drive’? There used to be two slots for ‘floppy disks’. ‘A drive’ was for 3.5″ floppies, which held 1.44 MB. I used those all through high school and university. The ‘B drive’ disappeared a long time before ‘A drive’ did. ‘B drives’ were for 5.25″ floppies, which held only [someone tell me, I can’t remember].

There used to be no such thing as unleaded petrol. Everyone used to use leaded petrol, which was bad for the environment.

Did you know that Southern Cross station used to be called ‘Spencer Street’? And way before that, Melbourne Central was called ‘Museum station’.

And they would say, “Wow, mum, you’re so old.”

Hmm. I reckon that I could probably say these things to 10 year olds now and they would say the same thing.

A few weeks ago, someone lamented, “Well, who knows. What is love?”

I have some thoughts about this, most of which have grown from a Catalyst episode I saw called ‘Love Trap‘. WARNING: My ideas may have since departed from science into the realm of Joan-logic.

There are three kinds of love: physical attraction, romantic love and commitment/attachment. When you meet someone, you usually experience these kinds of love in that order (but not always).

Catalyst tells us that the chemicals that make you feel physically attracted and romantic to someone last, at most, 18 months. If you’re lucky, then you move on into the third phase of commitment and you find yourself in a loving, trusting relationship. If, after 18 months, you discover that there was nothing keeping you with your partner except that chemical-induced obsession, then it’s time to move on.

This is why it’s probably a good idea not to marry someone or have kids with him or her until at least a year and a half after you start going out.

Anyway, the punchline of the whole thing is that you can experience all three kinds of love at the same time — with different people!

Imagine Josh is happily married but then meets Kelly, who he finds very attractive. He sees her day in and day out at work and thinks about her all the time. Soon he starts thinking, “I think I’m falling in love with Kelly. Maybe she’s my soulmate, instead of Jenny.”

Let’s consider Laura, who has a string of relationships that last between 6 and 18 months. She knows what she wants: she wants passion, she wants to be with someone fascinating. “Life is short!” is her mantra. If the relationship isn’t exciting anymore, then she’s not going to waste her time on second best.

Josh, Laura, you’re both right: you’re both experiencing a legitimate kind of ‘love’. What you need to realise, though, is that if you break up with your current partner to pursue the sexy or romantic option, in 18 months, you’ll end up exactly where you were before — if you’re lucky.

Does that mean you should never break up with someone if you’re attracted to someone else?

You need to do some serious thinking. You need to forecast, “In 18 months when the whirlwind of romance dies, will my relationship with this new person be better than what I have now?” How happy will you be in the commitment phase with each of them?

Related posts

• How to get a boyfriend — slow version
• How to keep a boyfriend — slow version
• Love is like a jigsaw

Before Damjan left, I asked people about their long distance relationships. I thought the more I knew, the better prepared I would be. I’ve accumulated many stories.

‘A’ calls her boyfriend in Canada every night. They’ve spent four years apart in different countries.

‘T’ was dumped by his girlfriend after she spent two months in Europe. She came home four months later.

‘N’ has managed to commute between states for a number of years and now he is to marry his girlfriend.

‘C’ has worked in Australia and lives with her son, while her husband lives in China. They’re still a family and she hopes to be reunited in the near future.

‘D’ plans to do aid work in Africa for half a year. Her boyfriend has decided it’s too difficult and that they will break up.

‘B’ went to Canada to visit his girlfriend, who was there on exchange. He came home, single.

‘K’ studied in Ireland for a year and throughout it, remained in the happiest relationship he’s ever been in.

I don’t think there is a common experience in long distance relationships. Everyone seems to cope differently.

I’ve had this metaphor in my head for a long time. I don’t know where it comes from but I believe it. I imagine that a relationship is like a tree. Given time and the right conditions, it will grow tall and extend its roots deep into the ground.

Long distance is like the wind. The older the tree, the deeper its roots, the more chance it has to withstand the wind. A young tree, whose roots only grip the topsoil, may not survive the challenge. When the wind stops blowing, it is the older tree, the one who has seen more winters and more springs, that will remain.

Most girls just roll their eyes when the men get all googly-eyed at Autobarn or Bunnings. “Boys and their toys,” we say, poking fun at them.

Well, it’s time for me to reveal a secret. Men — many girls get excited about Officeworks. I’m one of them. Something about stationery and folders and storage solutions…it’s like a magnet. Everything’s so neat! So coordinated! So functional!

I thought it was just me, you know, Joan the Freak. But talking to other girls, it seems like a common affliction. My sample size of about twenty females reveals the vast majority of them can blissfully wander around Officeworks for an hour or two. Even those for whom Officeworks is not a bee in their bonnet admit to an unhealthy preoccupation with Morning Glory stationery or similar.

However, starting work has ruined it all for me. At work, I have free and unlimited access to all the stationery I need. I don’t even bother stealing stationery any more. Work has well and truly killed the excitement.

I am really tired. I spent yesterday digging dirt in Werribee and today investigating an algal bloom on the Mornington Peninsula. Then I stayed at work until late. I’m chasing deadlines, you see. I don’t mind, really. I’m storing the extra time up my sleeve.

It’s Valentine’s Day today. I see lots of women carrying flowers and balloons. There’s something sad about Valentine’s Day. When I see a woman carrying this kind of gift, I think, “Maybe she’s proud to have a partner who has passed the Valentine’s Day test,” or “Did he buy it because she’d get mad at him if he didn’t do what all the other men are supposedly doing?”

More than any other occasion, I think Valentine’s Day is about peer pressure. Maybe because the presents are so useless and therefore, signs of the triumph of commercialisation.

I guess… I’d like Valentine’s Day a whole lot more if the emphasis was on hugs rather than flowers, a shared dinner rather than balloons.

It’s that time of year again!

We have just carved up a 1.2 kg mango. A mango that big offers a number of carving possibilities. I am not a fan of the hedgehog technique. I find it stickier than necessary and mango fibres get stuck between teeth. Instead, I like to carve out mango steaks, which can be tackled with a knife and fork.

For those who are interested, a 1.2 kg mango can easily be carved into three steaks to feed a family.

I have been told that in Japan, a mango might cost $80. In Melbourne in this season, the going price is $2-4 per kg. To those in the cold of the United Kingdom and the United States, I will eat an extra mango for you.

La Bohème, Moulin Rouge, Love Story… One day, there will be a great romance where the man falls sick and dies.