Before Damjan left, I asked people about their long distance relationships. I thought the more I knew, the better prepared I would be. I’ve accumulated many stories.

‘A’ calls her boyfriend in Canada every night. They’ve spent four years apart in different countries.

‘T’ was dumped by his girlfriend after she spent two months in Europe. She came home four months later.

‘N’ has managed to commute between states for a number of years and now he is to marry his girlfriend.

‘C’ has worked in Australia and lives with her son, while her husband lives in China. They’re still a family and she hopes to be reunited in the near future.

‘D’ plans to do aid work in Africa for half a year. Her boyfriend has decided it’s too difficult and that they will break up.

‘B’ went to Canada to visit his girlfriend, who was there on exchange. He came home, single.

‘K’ studied in Ireland for a year and throughout it, remained in the happiest relationship he’s ever been in.

I don’t think there is a common experience in long distance relationships. Everyone seems to cope differently.

I’ve had this metaphor in my head for a long time. I don’t know where it comes from but I believe it. I imagine that a relationship is like a tree. Given time and the right conditions, it will grow tall and extend its roots deep into the ground.

Long distance is like the wind. The older the tree, the deeper its roots, the more chance it has to withstand the wind. A young tree, whose roots only grip the topsoil, may not survive the challenge. When the wind stops blowing, it is the older tree, the one who has seen more winters and more springs, that will remain.