This Saturday, I am going to a Hallowe’en party. The theme is to come dressed as something you’re scared of.

I’ve decided to go as a bee or a public toilet. I haven’t yet decided.

For my bee costume, I would buy yellow duct tape and wrap it around a black skivvy. Maybe I can fashion some antennae and some kind of stinger using pipe cleaners. But wings, what about wings? And the extra two limbs?

The public toilet is a little bit easier. I can hang a WC sign on me with a ‘woman’ silhouette on the front and a ‘man’ silhouette at the back. Around me, I can loop empty toilet rolls, which are a great fear within my general fear of public toilets.

In anticipation, I have taken to collecting empty toilet rolls.

‘Look!’ I exclaimed, waving three empty toilet rolls at my housemate Aoife, who had just arrived home.

‘Well!’ she laughed ‘Have you been conquering your fears and taking toilet rolls from public toilets?’

‘Of course not,’ I waved excitedly. ‘I got these from work! I think we use up lots of toilet paper at work!’